Republican Burritos and other gems in a one horse town outside West Point military academy

I went to a wedding outside West Point last weekend. It was kind of awesome but the town outside the base is great.

If you’ve never lived in or around a US military base, allow me to assure you that it’s a special experience.  Anyone who has ever lived in one can pretty much identify major (state issued?) characteristics that all military towns must adhere to. The little town of Highland Falls outside West Point does not disappoint. In fact it might be the most dense display of military-town-ness per square inch  in America.  I tried to look up some stats on that, but you’d be (not) surprised to find out that there’s not a science to measuring the military-ness of a town – you just have to feel it.  So now for your viewing pleasure, I give you, a tour through Highland Falls. You decide.

…and justice for all…burritos?

Rand Paul approves —–They’re a bit like Mexican burritos but without all that nasty socialism that goes straight  to the hips.

American burritos – as undelicious as Chinese apple pie.

There’s nothing I like better than the gratuitous exploitation of core American values in the service of a $1.99 bean burrito. Tastes like freedom.

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No tax…!  Let’s face it – laundry tax is what’s wrong with this country.

Have you ever been to a laundromat where the coin-op machines were advanced enough to tax you on that quarter? If you answered yes, you’re probably some kind of communist that voted for Obama. Go back to Europe.

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World’s least authentic Chinese food as described to me by the Irish man who handed me a menu.

–What should we call this restaurant?  We need a good name. Something Chinese-y.
—   Bing- Bong?
—  Ching-chong?
-– Dong Fong?

Perfect. The natives will never know the difference.

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Look closely. Becuase that’s a  Boar’s Head logo — always the symbol of quality I am looking for in a sushi restaurant.

Do you want oil and vinegar on that spicy tuna roll?

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Pawn shop, check cashing place, and we buy and sell watches.  I’ll effing bet you do.  if you’re ever near one of these places and wonder if there’s a military base around, let me stop you right there. Yes. Yes there is.

♫ ♫Our country ’tis of thee…..♫♫

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Slow day (week/month/year) at the HighlandFalls police department. Not at all characteristic of a military town but amuses me all the same.

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World’s sweetest public library.  So cute you hardly notice the censored book selection.

50 shades = Satan.

And we don’t carry anything by anyone named Marx – even Groucho – especially him.  He is probably hiding nationalized health care under that mustache.